Moves Women Love In Bed - Article by
Jessica Walkman – I’ve never been afraid to ask
for what I want in bed. I guess because during
my teenage years I figured out I was/am a perv
and I just owned it. But in my decade-plus of
hooking up with dudes, I’ve come to see being
clear about what I want is a bit rare: Guys
have told me other women become self-
conscious when asking for something risqué or
kinky....So, I’m going to help you out, boys. Here are
some things your lady might want, but she’s
too self-conscious to ask for. Don’t pressure
anything, of course — but if you offer, you
may be pleasantly surprised at how
enthusiastically she accepts …
1. She wants you to eat her out more: Our
culture has a weird relationship with vag, if
you haven’t noticed. Your lady has likely been
exposed to a lot of lame-o messagestelling her
that her vag is “too hairy,” “too smelly,”
“tastes gross,” “ugly,” etc. She might really love
getting oral sex, but she’s afraid to ask you to
do it because she’s afraid you’ve internalized
the same messages that she has.
How to ask: It’s time to start sincerely
praising her lady parts big time: “Your p**sy
is so pretty!” “I love the way your vagina
looks.” “I love the way your p**sy tastes.” “I
love hearing you moan while I eat you out!”
And so on. (If she is offended by the word
“p**sy,” obviously you should say something
different.) If she is still skittish about being
eaten out, don’t push it. Offer to give a
massage all over her inner thighs and on the
outer folds of her labia; keep offering to do
this, and keep praising her vag, until she
mellows out. And if she never does, hey,
maybe she’s just not into oral sex!
2. She wants to fool around in public: Let
me be clear: Having full-on sex in public might
be a little too risqué — not to mention messy
— for some women, myself included. But that
doesn’t mean a lady wouldn’t love a heavy-
duty make-out session at that banquet in the
far corner of the bar, the backseat of her car,
or on her front steps!
How to ask: Download the Kelis song “In
Public” — the chorus goes “Let’s get it on in
public” — and when it plays, ask your girl if
she thinks it’s sexy.
3. She wants to be dominated : Even big-
mouthed ballsy women like me enjoy being
dominated! Yet dominating a woman scares a
lot of men because they are afraid — rightfully
so — of being rape-y. But with tons of trust
and communication, she’ll be creaming her
panties in no time! You just need to take baby
steps and constantly read her body language to
make sure she’s comfortable, both physically
and emotionally. I want to emphasize the
importance of baby steps : If you’re going to
play around with domination, it’s never a good
idea to start off with anything that might hurt
her feelings or humiliate her, i.e., barking
orders at her (“Go down on me NOW!”) or
name-calling (“Slut!”). Playing around with
restraints — loose restraints, of course — is
definitely a better way to go.
How to ask: Start simple. Really simple.
“Would you like it if I blindfolded you the next
time I go down on you?” If she likes that, next
time ask, “Would you like it if I loosely tied
your wrists to the bedposts?” If she likes that,
next time ask, “Would you like it if I held down
your arms while I lick your breasts?” If she
likes that, the two of you can figure out what
else she might like. It’s also a good idea to
create a “safe word,” which is something she
can say when she wants you to stop
immediately. (Sometimes in the heat of the
moment people say “Oh, noooo!” when they
really mean “Oh, that feels good!” So it’s good
if your safe word is something other than
“no.”) My safe word is this sentence: “I want
you to stop now.” Because it makes my
intentions clear.
4. She wants you to be the submissive one:
Getting dominated might not be her thing, but
she might want to dominate you. Yes, even if
she’s the meek and shy one! Speaking from a
lady’s point of view, it can be awkward to tell a
guy you want to dominate him because it’s
hard to ascertain which guys will think it’s too
emasculating. (I am not saying a man getting
dominated has to be emasculating; some guys
just perceive it that way.) But if you think your
woman might get her rocks off by playing the
sex goddess, you getting dominated is worth
bringing up.
How to ask: Does your lady ever ride cowgirl?
If that’s your favorite move — and in my
experience, for a lot of guys, it is — tell her
that you just LOVE her in control. Then suggest
the same things that I recommended under the
“She wants to be dominated” section — say you
want her to give you a BJ while you’re
blindfolded, then with your wrists tied to the
bed post
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